Here are three questions men often ask when beginning a divorce process:
- How do I pick a divorce lawyer? First, some things not to do: don't pick the lawyer with the biggest ad in the yellow pages. Don't pick the lawyer who you see on TV all the time. Don't pick the lawyer with the top listing in Google and who has the most positive comments on his website. All of these things are manufactured and paid for, you will have no way of knowing whether any of it is true or not. Ask around - there are plenty of recently divorced people (yes you can ask women too). Find several recommendations and if the people making the recommendations aren't living in their cars because they lost everything in the divorce (unless they are recommending their spouse's attorney) then add that lawyer to your list. Try to get a list of 3 to 5 names and start researching and interviewing them. This is the time to go to Google and find out what they have been up to and then arrange an interview (initial consultation).
- Am I better off with a male or female lawyer? It depends, some women lawyers are awesome. Just make sure you work well together whether man or woman and that your goals in the divorce are compatible with your lawyer. As strange as this may sound, both male and female attorneys may hold the societal bias against the man in divorce. While most lawyers are professional you need to understand their philosophy so you'll know how to work with them.
- Can't we just work things out with her attorney? It is good to be able to work things out with your spouse, working things out will save you a lot of money. But, I'll make this very simple; her attorney is tasked with representing her interests. Some agreement may sound good to you but may actually be a very bad thing for you. Maybe you want her to pay you your portion of the equity on the house and then take over the payments so you agree to quit-claim. This sounds reasonable but you need to understand the hidden trap there. And so it goes with the whole spectrum of agreements that you might enter.Discuss these with your attorney to be sure you understand the ramifications.
So there are three important questions for you as you begin managing your divorce. I'll leave you with one last admonition; learn about the process yourself. Don't just trust it all to your attorney: remember that this divorce, both now, and after it's over, means more to you than to anyone else: particularly anyone as busy as most lawyers are. So learn the divorce process and manage your case in a smart way.
Source by Renee Pullman
